After losing two close loved ones in a matter of months..here i sit almost 3 years later. Some days the loss and pain feel as fresh as the day they took their last breaths. Some days I find myself wishing they were still here with me. Wondering what they would think to see my dear son now. What kind of grandparents they would be. Wondering how its going to feel celebrating life milestones without their presence. Yes i know i always hear they are with you in spirit..yada yada yada..i mean their physical presence. I know their spirits may be present but that doesn't help when i want a hug from my daddy. when i want to hear my mothers voice. or hold her hand. That doesn't help when i think about the fact Elijah will never have pictures with them or memories of them.
Many days I move on..push forward. Just in an instant a scent, song, memory, word, etc can send me in a tail spin of emotions. I find myself struggling to hold it together and push forward.
Wondering if it will ever feel normal (for lack of a better word) again...
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