Will it ever feel okay again?

After losing two close loved ones in a matter of months..here i sit almost 3 years later. Some days the loss and pain feel as fresh as the day they took their last breaths. Some days I find myself wishing they were still here with me. Wondering what they would think to see my dear son now. What kind of grandparents they would be. Wondering how its going to feel celebrating life milestones without their presence. Yes i know i always hear they are with you in spirit..yada yada yada..i mean their physical presence. I know their spirits may be present but that doesn't help when i want a hug from my daddy. when i want to hear my mothers voice. or hold her hand. That doesn't help when i think about the fact Elijah will never have pictures with them or memories of them.

Many days I move on..push forward. Just in an instant a scent, song, memory, word, etc can send me in a tail spin of emotions. I find myself struggling to hold it together and push forward.

Wondering if it will ever feel normal (for lack of a better word) again...

Until You've worn those shoes...

Our Creator, our God made each of us uniquely different. None of us are alike. With that knowledge I know no one knows anyone else; every person has different thought patterns, different feelings, emotions, reactions, etc. We may go through similar situations, life changes, or experiences, but that doesn't mean we are the same. How a person handles certain experiences are their own. I think it's a total violation for anyone to tell a person how to feel, act, or think when they go through life situations. 

As I watched the world rip apart Whitney Houston and her family after her death...my heart ached..my insides cringed. This world we live in is so media hungry..so willing to be voyeurs in the lives of others especially those that are famous. We as individuals lose sight of the basic respect we should give to others. We lose sight of the thought that only if someone would turn a camera on us, what others may say about the homes we live in, the choices we make, the foods we eat, the way we party, celebrate, cope, etc. 

Would you be proud to let the world see how you live..How would you react if a camera had to follow you around 24/7. Would you feel the need to change your eating habits, would you still talk to your loved ones the same, would you still turn to that drink or that drug to satisfy your physical, or emotional pains. And when i say drug i mean everything from aspirin to cocaine.. from Motrin to meth..from Tylenol to weed. Would you be as judgmental of your own habits and lifestyles.

I wish people as a whole would stop being so judgmental of others. Of the clothes they wear, the foods they eat, the cars they drive, the homes the live in, their parenting styles, their religious beliefs or lack of. It's not our place to judge. We are called to love others, not judge. Help others, not judge. 

My final thought is to be careful what you speak, how you react or carry yourself when others are facing trials and tribulations. don't be so quick to judge or so-sign. 

So until you've worn the shoes that another is wearing..be considerate. Even if you have experienced pregnancy, addictions, death, job, loss, divorce, marriage, etc. You still aren't that person and will never truly understand how they are reacting, handling or what they may be feeling.

Comfort. Pray. Love...even if you think you've worn those shoes.